Stolen last night from outside my twelfth floor flat, chained to the railings. The next bike stays inside the house.
I was really enjoying riding around London, a whole new sense of freedom. What irks me the most is the pain of trying to find a replacement. This was a good bike !
Sniff, sniff.
Where is Phil now? 
Stolen? Chained? It wasn’t on your floor, was it? Ay!!!