hello world.

I have been staring at this blank screen for a while now; after days, weeks and months of staring at nothing, contemplating what to write after such a long break from the blog. It is not that I have not been up to much (I haven’t been up to too much), nor that I am too busy (I am too busy), and it is not even that I have lost interest (I have lost interest). It is a little of all those things, and probably a few other things I don’t want to acknowledge.

I logged into WordPress this morning and saw that my last post was 29 October 2018, over three months ago. The longest break since that first barely comprehensible scrawl made in 2011. Interestingly people still view posts. I am not sure if they ever stay once they start reading, and not many travel further than the page they land on, though occasionally someone will read a few pages which always pleases me. I just wish they would stop and say hello. Am I too negative all the time? Do I come across too curmudgeonly and anti-social?

I look back at posts every now and then and acknowledge that I was a bit negative at times on my travels, even though I thoroughly enjoyed it and look back very fondly on them. I have twice recently considered going off for a few weeks of backpacking, El was even encouraging me to do so. However, I seem to have hit a wall of fear and doubt, and it all just seemed too hard to contemplate, let alone do. One day.

I best start with a quick update on things since October…

• The photography exhibition seemed to go well, I didn’t make any use of the exposure and did not sell anything, though I wasn’t planning on selling. I received good feedback and am planning something else for later in the year.
• The apartment purchase in St Leonards-on-Sea is still slowly grinding along, tectonic plate like. I feel it is getting closer, though the seller and/or their solicitor hardly seem the most motivated. I haven’t been down to St Leonards this year yet, but will visit  soon. I still like it  and am looking forward to calling this little seaside part of England, home. Or at least a second home.
• Work. I still go each day, still get stressed and feel overworked and unloved. Trying to sort that out at the moment. I have some ideas, one of which is leaving.
• New Zealand. El and I had a two week trip back to NZ, spending a day in Brisbane visiting my son, his partner and my granddaughter, eight days in Auckland with family finishing with four days in Singapore relaxing. I aim to do a couple of posts on the trip, maybe even something this afternoon as I seem to be on a roll.
• New Zealand two. When we were in NZ I spent some time reading on how pensions now work. I have over 30 years of living and working in NZ and wanted to make sure that I could still claim my pension, or have some of that obligation transferred to the UK, assuming we are still living there when it comes to retirement. What I read was that I may have to live for five years in NZ from the age of 50 to be eligible. As I am now 56, this was quite shocking news to me (and El too). In the two weeks we have been back in the UK we have done a little bit of research and it may not be quite the case. What it did do is seed the thought more firmly in our heads about going to live in NZ for a while. Watch this space for news…
• Photography. I have pretty much done none since October. I took a few pictures on our holiday which was good. I did seriously contemplate replacing the 5d Mk1 with another ‘proper’ (expensive) camera. Though what I was really doing was finding a way out my creative slump and lack of interest. It wasn’t the answer. Though I am going to replace the little camera as the scratches on the lenses are ruining too many shots now.
• Photography two. I have a new project, yay

Wow, that was a bit longer than I expected, all I needed to do was start, and what I need to now is stop. Find an appropriate photo to attach to this and post it. Then start on a holiday post or two.

St Leonards-on-Sea.